Mike LaRock (@openmike) header
Mike LaRock (@openmike) profile picture

Mike LaRock

@openmike

stand up comic | king of the 10-like tweet

 DC
linktr.ee/mikelarock
Joined July 2018
  • Tweets761
  • Following1.4K
  • Followers2.1K
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Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)Photo by Mike LaRock (@openmike)
Mike LaRock retweeted
Mike LaRock (@openmike) profile picture
Mike LaRock@openmike19 Jan 2022
“hey little sister, what have you done?!” — billy idol, upon finding her victims’ mangled corpses
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Did y’all know that in new york, concrete jungle wet dream tomato?
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You thought the gazpacho was bad. Try living in Vichyssoise France!
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Mike LaRock retweeted
&y S&ford (@AndySandford) profile picture
&y S&ford@AndySandford8 Feb 2022
Sorry, Dippin’ Dots. As it turns out, ice cream was the ice cream of the future.
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Mike LaRock (@openmike) profile picture
Mike LaRock@openmike29 Jan 2022
planet earth, narrated by Christopher Walken
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The older I get the harder it is to make friends. I even tried inviting my dry cleaner to my poker game, but he just kept folding.
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I hate when people say “the book was better” I just ate a 3 Musketeers candy bar and it tasted so much better than the book.
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Yall boots (@Jokes_Yall) profile picture
Yall boots@Jokes_Yall31 Jan 2022
Do you think when the inventor of the lamp shade first thought of the idea, a slightly dimmer lightbulb appeared over their head?
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At lunch with my girlfriend and her friends but she brought my trucks so I have something to do
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Mike Szar (@MikeSzar_) profile picture
Mike Szar@MikeSzar_15 Jan 2022
Donating one of the wolves inside me to my sick brother because you only need one to live
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Mike LaRock (@openmike) profile picture
Mike LaRock@openmike21 Jan 2022
this joke brought to you by @PBS
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Mike LaRock retweeted
WJ Reid (@WJReid3) profile picture
WJ Reid@WJReid322 Jan 2022
If Allstate helps you avoid Mayhem why is he in all the commercials
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Skeeter (@TweetzBySkeet) profile picture
Skeeter@TweetzBySkeet21 Jan 2022
Why did we discover pi instead of just saying it was 3 and a little bit
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You know you’re at a great hotel when the bar of soap looks like it could be a great dessert
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Replying to @alyankovic
lmk if you need lebanon bologna in your film
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Uncle Joey (@JoePerrow) profile picture
Uncle Joey@JoePerrow18 Jan 2022
What kind of name is Joss anyway? Get an H in there you idiot.
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The biggest thing I’m going to miss after COVID is all the fun hangs in waiting rooms. So chill!
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Quitting my job so I can focus more on keeping my kitchen clean
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Replying to @openmike
“What if Bob Saget impersonated Jack Nicholson, it might go a little something like this…”
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Mike LaRock retweeted
Tim Durden (@timdurden_) profile picture
Tim Durden@timdurden_8 Jan 2022
Cinema means movies in Douche.
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