@shellenger

Life Coach to the Criminally Insane https://xitter.cf/t.co/EgFY1EzaqU

 The Recesses of your Mind
Joined October 2018
  • Tweets12K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers2.3K
191Media
Shellenger retweeted
Daz?@HomeProbably14 Sep 2019
Love is a complicated toxin.
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This weed was in a crevice that was really hard to get into and I wanted to make sure the roots came out so I tried to use my wife's eyebrow tweezers but dropped them in the crevice, now I have to pretend I don't even know what tweezers are.
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I sleep with my reply guy.
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Shellenger retweeted
Laurie ♥@retsebez14 Sep 2019
Forget all the reasons why it won't work and believe the one reason why it will......
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Shellenger retweeted
fírє вurns@h2_eh13 Sep 2019
If you walk in an erratic zigzag pattern no one at the office can see you.
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There needs to be a word that’s not as gross sounding as “panties” but not as geriatric sounding as “underwear.”
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He looked like 10 miles of bad road so I took another way.
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Sometimes silence is the best music.
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You gotta know your worth even if it gets a little lonely sometimes.
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I'd be so fucked without music
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Don't make me like you. You wouldn't like me when I like you
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Shellenger retweeted
120yearz@120yearz13 Sep 2019
my astrological signs are pizza bacon and double cheeseburgers
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Shellenger retweeted
WryBry@WryBry13 Sep 2019
Dear Private Caller, We're NEVER going to pick up. Us
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Shellenger retweeted
120yearz@120yearz13 Sep 2019
mood: fuck you you you and you
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I was born to bewilder.
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Beauty tip: Avoid wrinkles by incrementally getting fatter.
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Be better. Life is too bloody short to be cunty.
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Friday the 13th pfft, if you're in my neighborhood that's every day. 🗡️🤣🤣
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Shellenger retweeted
olive@offbeatoliv13 Sep 2019
But have you learned to set boundaries without trying to explaining yourself?
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