@Henry_3000

Self-parody account.

xitter.cf/search?q=from%3AHenry_3000%20exclude%3Areplies
Joined February 2012
  • Tweets298K
  • Following11.7K
  • Followers29.1K
1.2KMedia
Gardening sounds kinda lame. I prefer to say that I raise and slaughter my own vegetables.
10
173
8
1,733
26,817
Henry 3000 retweeted
Dreamer@ElgatoEsmio12h
Don’t take it for granted if the sound of airplanes overhead is not alarming
2
4
321
They call it The Vulcan Death Grip but I've only seen it knock people out shouldn't it be called The Vulcan Knock Out Grip
9
13
1
64
1,436
Henry 3000 retweeted
Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 25
Adults who say “whoopsies” please stop.
33
58
5
132
3,538
Henry 3000 retweeted
E~ville@E_Ville1321h
It's a "no way that's getting done" type of day.
15
18
392
The iPhone duo should be able to tell you if you can trust a fart or not.
16
74
1
113
1,381
Henry 3000 retweeted
Damon Hunzeker
@DamonHunzeker18h
I hate candy corn, but I like every other kind of candy on the cob.
1
10
1
26
732
Henry 3000 retweeted
Ghostface Kryllah@kryzazzy16h
Something about having fresh rolls of paper towels in my house really makes me feel like I have my shit together
14
2
37
1,886
haha, yes, everyone has a nickname for their grandmas. for example, i call mine ‘my god! what are you doing alive?! you died many years ago!’
5
18
431
Remember finding out your teacher's first name and weaponizing it, or was I just a little shit?
2
24
64
1,510
The Girl Without a Single Tattoo
17
107
11
287
13,960
Henry 3000 retweeted
Stu, For Real@StuForReal23h
You had me at hell no
36
66
1,599
Henry 3000 retweeted
Skalleewagg
@skalleewaggOct 23
Smoothies are a lie. You gather 14 ingredients. Every kitchen tool has to be washed afterwards, and I'm still hungry. I should have just made a sandwich.
1
1
6
80
I can't believe I used to think that people my age were adults.
5
55
1
86
1,538
Henry 3000 retweeted
Huge Jacknuts@BreadedMarkOct 25
Still Team Debbie Gibson…
1
5
14
302
Henry 3000 retweeted
Huge Jacknuts@BreadedMark22h
Greasy like Sunday morning logging in
1
4
109
Henry 3000 retweeted
Ron Seyb@RonaldPSeyb22h
Working today on my 5-year Manifest Destiny plan.
1
1
57
The 2 minute time out. Because the 2 minute warning sounds dangerous.
2
3
53
I may not be the smartest knife in the shed, but I understand idioms
1
4
17
264
All arbitration should be done by 6 year-olds because there’s no being on Earth more acutely aware of what’s fair
1
5
18
503
Henry 3000 retweeted
Amy Nivens
@AmynivensOct 25
The folks in the parking lot with us are listening to good music whether they like it or not.
1
3
82
Load more