@chincha33

I think I've finally gotten rid of my need for another *if I had a hammer* tweet (This is all lies!)

 GA, USA
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Joined April 2009
  • Tweets367K
  • Following4.3K
  • Followers12.3K
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Blow me, you oscillating fan.
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Chincha retweeted
DaddyJew@DaddyJewOct 6
sorry for all the mean things i said while we were waiting for the pizza to get here
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It's like 10,000 thoughts when all you need is a nap... or however that song goes
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Girl maintenance should be covered under health insurance
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Chincha retweeted
meghan
@deloisiveteOct 7
The number of times my kid has popped up behind me on a work call in full Grim Reaper costume this week is not zero
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Do you know who you are now, or are you still learning? 🦉
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I hate people say they don't like my taste in music. Well I don't like your face, but I kept my piehole shut.
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I'm not drunk... i'm tipsy adjacent
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When you know things way before they happen it’s not as much fun.
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Amazon Gods were good today. Instead of one 4lb bag of dogfood they sent 4 bags wrapped in plastic. Math skills chef’s kiss my anonymous friend 😘
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I want to know all the mysteries, especially yours.
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It's impossible to find a birthday card for a 10yo boy from a 10yo boy -- why don't they have one that just says "bro happy birthday bro".
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Listen I had a fucking terrible night...my friends are doing stupid fucking shit and won't let me fucking fix it
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I have coffee and a $3.99 book from Ollie's. Life is good
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I dont care about your problems my hot neighbor is moving now what am I going to stare at?
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the way some dads feel about lawn stripes are the way i feel about vacuum stripes. i love me a nice vacuum stripe
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"I'm in the business of misery..." - it's sales
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What if we kissed at the Buc-ee's?
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No one jumps anyone’s bones anymore.
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